My son’s college writing teacher assigned the class to write the longest, most convoluted version of the classic Strunk and White advice, “Omit needless words,” as possible.
His magnum opus:
“Despite what one often hears from the many so-called experts on the matter, it is imperative that, according to Strunk and White’s famous, popular, and well renowned early twentieth-century book, Elements of Style, whenever possible, one should avoid the usage of or completely omit the unnecessary or pointless words in a sentence or any other form of writing, as this is the only right and proper way for a good and virtuous American gentleman to write and adding pointless words only makes said sentence more convoluted and confusing for those of lesser social classes; this way, your writing will be in all ways superior to that of your inferior contemporaries who overuse pointless and impotent words such as utilize, amongst, and other crimes against our English language.”
His was the longest in the class.
That’s my kid!
Carrie Golus 